


Apologize

by The_Supernatural_Doctor



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-26 14:32:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1691726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Supernatural_Doctor/pseuds/The_Supernatural_Doctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deans at one of his favorite places to get a beer... except this time hes too drunk to realize that hes about to sing to the love of his life... the man that is no longer his.. but is that where it really ends?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apologize

 Dean Winchester was fucked.  He came out here to get a beer, maybe 2. But now he was drunk and he was depressed. Why didn't Benny stop him?

A couple came in through the front doors that caught Deans attention. 

_Cas..._

Castiel came in laughing with his new boyfriend wrapped around him.  

Dean looked away before they noticed that he was here. He could feel the tears starting to pull at his eyes.   _No._   _I am not going to cry._

Benny came over and grabbed the beer that was in Deans hand and  put it behind the counter. 

"Look. I know that what happened between you two hurt like hell. You have been coming and drinking at my bar for more than a month. Why cant you pick yourself and go find some chick to fuck or something? Cas found someone and he looks fine." Benny stared at Dean, expecting an answer. Dean just continued to look down but eventually looked up. He was crying.  _This is so against me._

"How can I easily just brush this off? This was my first real relationship and it got fucked over. Cas is not doing good. He's pretending. I know him well enough and i know thats not what he looks like when hes happy." Dean growled.

"Fine. You're the expert. But can you please do something besides drinking your self to oblivion? People are starting to miss the singing you used to do." Benny walked away to get people their drinks.

Dean put his head in his hands and thought about singing again. He was good at it, he would even play the guitar sometimes while he sang.

But that had stopped a month ago. The only reason he sang had left him and now he was broken. Sam had always said that Cas would be the one he married but look at him now. Dean was alone and was becoming a drunk just like his father did when Mary died. He couldnt bring himself to care that he was drinking a lot more than he should.  He just wanted the pain to stop. He wanted it to end so he could move on. But it never did. The pain stayed there even when he drank. It never left.

_Fuck it._

Dean pushed himself off his bar stool and walked over to where the DJ was in the corner, passing Cas and Balthazar in the process.  Once he reached the DJ he asked if he would be able to sing a song or two. 

"Hell yea man. We havent heard you sing in a wile. But first I want you to drink some water. Sober you up a little." The DJ handed Dean a glass of water and drank it all.  He instantly felt a little better.  A couple of songs played before the DJ went on stage and introduced Dean.

"Hey guys. I heard that some of you missed my singing and I thought it would be cool to start up again. so here I go."

Dean started strumming the guitar cords and started singing

_' Someones always coming around here trailing some new kill_

  _Says i seen your picture on a hundred dollar bill..'_

The rest of the song was a blur of cords and singing. At the middle of the song Dean and Cas' eyes met.

_'I could make you satisfied in everything you do_

_all your secret wishes could right now be coming true..'_

 Dean sang the rest of the song looking into Cas' eyes and seeing the pain come out of were he had hidden it.  

The song finished and the crowed erupted with claps and whistles. 

"Thank you. Well before I go, does anyone have a request of any songs?" Dean looked around the room and saw a couple of people go up to the DJ to put a song in. 

The DJ came over and whispered the name of the song that they wanted him to sing. A nice looking lady came up and sat over at the piano. Dean moved his stool and mic over to her.

"I'm read when you are." The lady said Dean nodded his head and the lady started playing. Dean joined in a second later.

_'I dont know where i'm at_

_i'm standing at the back_

_and i'm tired of waiting_

_Waiting here in line, hoping that i'll find what i've_

_been chasing.'_

Dean felt the tears starting to form again and was glad that he chose to sit side ways so the crowed wouldnt see him crying.

_'I shot for the sky_

_i'm stuck on the ground_

_so why do i try, i know im gonna fall down_

_i thought i could fly, so why did i drown?_

_Never know why it coming down, down, down._

_Not ready to let go_

_Cause then i'd never know_

_what i could be missing_

_but i'm missing way too much_

_so when do i give up what i've been wishing for.'_

The song hit dean like an emotional freight train. The words in the song made him think of Cas and his fucked up  break up with him. He coukdnt handle this but he was almost down anyways.

_'... And i dont want to hear the sound of losing what_

_i never found._

_I shot for the sky_

_i'm stuck on the ground_

_so why do i try, i know im gonna fall down_

_i thought i could fly, so why did i drown?_

_Never know why it coming down, down, down.'_

 

Dean wasn't going to lie, he was a mess by the song ended and he rushed off stage to the back of the bar where he new no one would be. Once he was there he let himself break down and instantly fell against the wall and started sobbing. 

"I'm sorry."  Dean froze. he didnt hear anyone walk in. H quickly whirled around to see the lady that he was singing with giving him a sympathetic look. 

"What?" Dean asked

"I'm sorry. I should of said no to  singing but i didnt know that this song brought back memories for you." She looked down and rubbed her arm with one of her hands." I used to be the same way. When my fiance broke up with me.." She walked forward and gave Dean a tissue.

"My names Lisa. I'm sorry about what happened and next time i'll ask if its okay with you first." She gave Dean a small smile and turned and walked out back towards the front of the bar.

Dean cleaned himself as much as he could and walked back out to the front for one more beer before heading home to sleep. Sam was going to kill him for staying out so late but who care. 

"Hey Benny, one beer please. Last one of the night." Dean pulled out his wallet and began taking out his money when Benny stopped him.

"Your tabs clean. Some one payed it for you." Dean gave Benny a confused look but all he got in return was a sad smile. 

Surely all the guys at this bar knew Dean didnt want to take home anyone tonight so who would do this for him? Dean looked around and noticed Balthazar staring at him. He raised his chin a little bit as a greeting and got the same thing from Balthazar before Cas appeared infront of the other man with two beers in his hands.  He must of  noticed Balthazar staring because he turned around and saw Dean. His smile instantly fell and Dean gave  small smile before turning back to where his beer sat. 

Dean and Benny ended up talking for about half an hour to an hour, the whole time Dean only drank that one beer. He didnt want to drink anymore. He had enough. 

At one point in the night people were starting to clear out and new people were coming in. Dean felt a hand on his shoulder and he instantly jumped. He turned to see Balthazar. 

"Cassie is a mess. I cant believe you went up on that bloody stage and sang those songs. Dont get me wrong i saw how it hurt you too. I see the way he looks at you when he thinks neither of us are looking.. I know he doesnt want me, not really. Hes still in love with you, Dean. You better take your chances and go after him while you still can.  Hes  in the back crying his eyes out. I broke p with because i know im not good for him. He needs you. so go make up." With that Balthazar turned and left.

"Well you better hurry up and go before someone finds him back there and gets him first." 

"What?" Dean turned back around to see Benny smiling like an idiot.

"Go. Hes not going to wait forever." Dean nodded and got up, trying to walk but he wanted to run. To go and tell Cas that everything's going to be okay because it will be. They're going to make up and sort out their problems and have that apple pie life that they had planned together. 

Dean rounded the last corner that led to the back and saw Cas sitting on the floor crying. Dean got tears in his eyes at the sight because he didnt want to see this. He wanted Cas to be happy and dammit he will make Cas happy if its the last thing he'll ever do. 

"Cas..." Dean whispered. He walked forward and squatted in front of Cas. He took his head in his hands and wiped at the tears running down his face.

"Dean.." Cas said.  Before dean knew it, he had an armful of Cas. He fell back onto his butt as Cas got into his lap and wrapped his legs around Deans waist. He wrapped his arms round Deans neck and just hugged him while he cried. 

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas as he started crying. 

When they both stopped crying, Dean shifted them so that his back was against the wall. Cas had his head on deans shoulder and was slowly starting to drift off when he decided to speak.

"I'm sorry.." Cas slured, "I know this isnt much of an apology but its a start. I miss you and i want to have this with you." Cas pulled back enough for him  to look into Deans eyes. 

"Do you want to go have coffee sometime? Maybe see a movie? and then maybe after that we can talk?" Cas' voice sounded hopeful.

"Yea. I would like that. Lets go see a movie sometime." Dean smiled and pulled Cas off of his lap and sat him next to him. 

"What? why did you take me off?" Cas was confused and he had an adorable look on his face,  _I cant believe i just thought of Cas as adorable_ , Dean thought.

"Because i'm classy. If you want to get into my pants then you'll have to at least buy me dinner first." Dean looked over at Cas and grinned. 

"All right fine. Dinner and a movie. I can make that work." Cas grinned back at Dean. This relationship would be okay... he would be okay because he had Cas back. Yea. He feels perfect. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This was just a mini fic because i thought of a perfect video to go to the song Down by Jason Walker but me being me i cant make vids. So instead i wrote. this was just a quick thing and im sorry for any mistakes. I literally just wrote this and its 1 in the morning. Crazy right? Yea well the songs are:  
> ~Angeles By Steve Carlson (Feat Jensen Ackles, Jensen is the one singing in the song and Steve is playing guitar)  
> ~Down By Jason Walker  
> Anyway, thanks for reading and i would appreciate comments and/or kudos! <3 Love yall!  
> (P.S. if i have enough support i'll do a follow up story!)


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